I haven't written a blog in the longest time! I always think about writing one, then realise I haven't actually done anything worth writing about and think to myself, 'fuck it, I'll write when I've actually done something'. But I still haven't really =/


So, Christmas is upon us and I have very few surprises in store mainly to my own doing. All I'll say is my mum needs to think of a better place to hide unwrapped presents than her wardrobe, thats all I'm saying! Also, when you give your daughter your wife's present to wrap and leave it in the box that both your wifes and your daughters presents were shipped in, you might want to take out the receipt if you don't want your daughter to know what her presents are. That is all. I don't like surprises anyway, I don't like having to react in the right way if they're in the room, I like to know what I'm getting in advance so I can come up with a suitable reaction. That sounds quite cold-hearted, but you've all been in the 'Gee, thanks Gran...I've always wanted a tea cosy' Yeah, it's always really awkward when you're sat there thinking to yourself what the fuuuck?!?


I'm really looking forward to opening Lucy's present though, she made it all herself bless her and it took her ages to do. Feels like a book...but I dunno what its gonna be =D It's gonna be great though, she's so creative. Lucy's the best, her and her new boyfriend will hopefully be as happy as me and a certain Mr Joseph Reid :P 


Speaking of Joe (you all knew it was coming XD) I just had the most amazing weekend, I stayed at his house from Sunday to Tuesday and we didn't really do much, we just hung around and watched movies, but it was amazing to spend that much time with him. I love just doing normal things like cuddling on the sofa and watching a film, it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside :P But I'm going to miss him loads, he's going to be in London for Christmas and I won't see him till the 29th when he comes back and he goes to Lucy's Christmas/New Years party. I'm counting down the days (7 by the way) 


I'm kind of wondering how on earth I'm going to manage to save up for the holiday I'm supposed to be going on next summer seeing as I did have £150 in my savings account...you know, saving for this holiday and paying for my phone contract but I now have £50. All because of Christmas. I love it and all, but if it didn't cost anything that would be so so sooo much better wouldn't it? Haha I don't really mean it, I'm only saying that because I suck at buying people presents anyway. I always want to buy someone something that actually means something other than just another piece of crap they'll put in a cupboard and never see again =/ But then again, after this, there's a few months and I have to think of something for V day which in my opinion is even harder. I don't know why but it is =/


Oh well, its just the joys of life and I'm on such a high at the moment I'm smiling most of the time even though being at home is sucky because I miss a certain someone and wish he was here, but there's not much I can do about that.


The main headache of my life at the moment is the prospect of January exams. The more I think about the amount of work I have to do, the more I physically can't pick up a book to actually do any. It's weird, but the more stressed I get about something the less able I am to actually do anything about it. So having teachers reminding you all the time how long there ISN'T till exams, the less likely they are actually going to get me to do something. Unfortunately I've never really had to revise to get the grades, until now. But I have this dull achy feeling that I'm going to fail and that no matter how much revision I do do, it's not going to make the slightest difference and I'm neither going to get any offers for Uni or get the grades required of me. 


But yeah, that's my rant for the evening. I take solace in the fact that if I do fail this year, I'll get to move in with a certain Mr Reid....not that he knows that yet :P But I daresay he won't object. At least I hope not XD

Forever Yours

~*~Hayley~*~ 

Partaee

Hi guys!


It's been a while (I think, time has lost all meaning lately XD) but between college, piano, homework and going out I really haven't had time to blog =/ 

So this week has really been about the college party, it's pretty much all people talk about at college other than the impending UCAS deadline for those of you who didn't have to hand it in in October. People are getting stressed out left right and centre because they can't write their personal statement or their tutors haven't finished their references yet. You can tell when someone's sent it off because they immediately calm down....until they begin stressing about whether they're going to get any offers. I mean, I'm stressing about it and I probably won't hear anything till January if I hear anything at all. I'm choosing to ignore the passing days as I wait patiently to see if any Med School actually wants me. 

But yeah, the college party was great, I've decided that dancing is better exercise than going to the gym and I suddenly regret not pushing my mum to let me take dance. Oh well, it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway, I'm flexible...but not that flexible XD. I went as a Gladiator to a 'through the decades' theme...I just picked a decade a long long time ago! I went with Annie (the greek goddess in the picture ;)), Joe (who put little or no effort in :P other than UV paint), Aled (an admiral), Ben (who wore a morph suit with shirt cuffs, a tie and trilby), Ben Herrington (Pirate), Sam and Tom (who really wanted some clunge ;)). But even though we were an hour and  a half late and soaking wet because there seemed to be torrential rain outside, it was still worth it!


It was Aled's birthday too, so we were celebrating that too. We were going to stay up after we got back because the party finished at one, but when Annie, Lucy, Ben H and I got home we were just like 'no thanks, bed' and by the time everyone else got back we'd all changed into our pj's and gone to bed. In the end I did stay up till about 4:30am because...well Joe was there :D


It was murder getting into college on Wednesday, I nearly fell asleep in Maths and just 'had' to go to Starbucks with Annie to get some caffeine! We stayed in there for hours just chatting about stuff, mainly guys we'd had/have relationships with and how our previous relationships fucked up. Also any embarrassing experiences we'd had in the bedroom, I was glad I definitely wasn't the only one! It was nice to have someone to talk to about that kind of stuff, because none of my other friends really have any experience with guys or I don't feel comfortable enough with them. I missed having girl times where we just sit and talk for ages, we never seem to do that anymore :S


I'm going to go because it's nearly time for a cuppa :D

Forever Yours

~*~Hayley~*~

New Moon!

Okay so I deleted my last post, because it was fairly depressing. And it was just me whining on, I was feeling kinda upset in a overreacting way and I don't think I could have read it without wanting to slap myself XD. So yeah =/


And so the weather gets colder by the day, while I don't like the cold, I like wrapping up warm and going for long walks. That probably sounds quite sad, but at the moment, everywhere you go there are lots of fallen leaves that when they're dry, make everything look so colourful. Plus you of course have to crunch your way through those leaves, tearing them for all they're worth. Unfortunately it's been raining all day today and rain generally makes me feel depressed, unless I'm having fun in the rain. Kisses in the rain are the way forward ;)


Urgh I'm feeling quite ill right now, my tummy isn't happy at all =( 


I spent today and yesterday with Joe, Lucy and Lyd, we stayed round Lucy's and watched Bruno,which is a very funny film in that it's just so so wrong! Then Lyd went home and I got to sleep with Joe, which is probably my favourite thing at the moment, I can even find the humour in his loud snoring at 5o'clock in the morning :) He's adorable when he sleeps, plus he's really really warm, which is something that often evades me. So yeah, it's like having a hot water bottle with a nice ass :P Which I don't think is a concept he really grasps XD he thinks I'm weird whenever I go near it. Sucks to be him when he finds out about my skin obsession! Which isn't as weird as it sounds, I just really like how skin feels. Which is why I prefer skin to skin contact ;)


I went to see New Moon today, which is my least favourite book in the Twilight Saga. But, it was a much better film than the first one, this one stuck to the book a little better and didn't feel so wooden. It doesn't help that Robert Pattinson,who plays Edward, is such an ugly fucker. The character is so hot though, I don't think they would have been able to find a guy hot enough to play him. So, the hotties of the movie are Jacob (Taylor Lautner) and Jasper (Jackson Rathbone). Just an FYI for you :) Also, I loved the ending, as I loved that scene in the book, because the last line of the film is 'Marry me?' That book was always the hardest for me to read because I have serious abandonment issues. I'd probably be willing to be unhappy just to not be alone. So when Bella gets left by two guys one after the other it just rings home for me. Hence why I cried a little. I just get thinking about someone I love desperately leaving me. 


But anyway I think I'm going to go and get some sleep, see if I feel better in the morning.

Forever Yours

~*~Hayley~*~

D=

Just discovered there are much much worse things than being broken up with.

And hasn't felt so unwanted in a long time :(

Toothpaste Kisses

I dunno where the post name came from.....but meh I like it!


I'm pleased with how much I'm keeping up with this blogging business, I thought it would be like last time where I posted twice and then I was never seen again. 


Since last friday I haven't really done anything which is a bad thing seeing as I have to start revising for my exams in January. I really need someone to kick me up the ass and tell me to get the fuck on with it, but unfortunately my parents have never really been like that =/. Which is why I spent Friday playing on the Xbox and my piano. Not really constructive I don't think. Saturday was really just non-existent except for the thunderstorm. And bearing in mind thunder and lightning fall into my category of things I am not tolerant of along with insects and the dark. I was just sat at home waiting till it was over. 

Hee, just gonna post the little part of my conversation with Joe to keep it for posterity:

~♥~    Hayley    ~♥~ says:
*I'm gonna add in a third question cos I like to hear you say it/write it
* 3) Do you love me? :P
[      Joe      ]      says:
*more than anything in the world hayley (L)


There :D big smiles all around now. Urgh, at the moment I'm happy and sad. Happy because, well you just read that, and I'm just so happy whenever he's around. Which you may have gathered by now. But also I miss him so desperately when he isn't around it just drives me crazy. I can't actually do anything to take my mind off of it because he manages to find  a way back into my head. Crazy in Love as they say XD.


So far, I'm going to Joe's on Friday/Saturday (yay ♥) and next saturday I'm going to see New Moon!!! Gah that book makes me cry. Especially when you're feeling particularly lonely. I remember trying to read it a while back and so much of it really rang home that I got a few chapters in and had to put it away, I just couldn't do it. Whereas when I first read it I was just like, get a grip Bella.
But yeah I'm really excited, the first one was so so, despite the fact that Rob Pattinson is an ugly munter. But this one has a new director so I have high hopes and I daresay I'll get caught up in the moment and be like oh my god this is the best thing everrr. Then I'll buy it and rip the shit out of it like I did Twilight.
Sophie: Ooooh I SPARKLE!!
But Taylor Lautner (Jacob) is pretty damn hot in this one ;) haha...I don't mean that 8-)






But that's my news for the time being...no more responses from Uni's but Medicine takes a while...a very long while. It's just irritating having your future decided by a bunch of people who haven't really met you.


Anywho I'm going to go now and get a cuppa tea :)

Forever yours

~*~Hayley~*~ 

Pink Neon Gloves

I have so so so much to talk about! =D 


First of all, one of the universities I've applied to have offered me a conditional place. And yeah, it's my fifth choice and not even really what I want to do, but it's the fact that someone wants me that's important. As a stupid rule you're only allowed to apply to four Medicine courses and the fifth choice has to be another subject. The entry requirements for Forensic Science are loow, they want 240 UCAS points and seeing as:
A = 120
B = 100
C = 80
D = 60
E = 40
And I'm currently predicted AAAB which adds up to 460 UCAS points, when they saw my application they probably either wet themselves or came...or both. Haha a modest moment there! But yeah, I had a happy day when I saw that =] I just need to wait for the Med schools to get back to me and unfortunately that all takes so much longer, I may be waiting until February to know if some of the Universities even want to see me for an interview. Unfortunately I'm a very impatient person and don't really want to have to wait until they make up their minds. lol.


*Goes to read last blog* I couldn't remember where I'd got to, Monday. Well, the main suck-fest of the week was that Joe was ill on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, ergo I only saw him on monday :( I miss him far too much for it to be fair. I'm planning on taking Joe and Lucy ice-skating probably the week after next and when discussing with Mum how Joe was going to get there she said, "he should really move a bit closer up here," and I was like, yes please. But she suggested he stays here, and I'm hoping she won't go all 'he has to sleep in Simon's room' Nazi on me again. I miss going to sleep with him touching me, or even near me and that wall between mine and Simons room is just a little bit too far =( I'm going to Joe's next week, I prefer it round Joe's because its a lot more relaxed because his Dad's cool. Unfortunately last week I got a little too relaxed in his house (it's easy to forget there are other people there =/) and Joe's brother Billy commented the next day that he couldn't sleep because I was being too loud.. :$ oops. As I was typing that I realised there are a lot of Bills in that house...like all of them...Joe's Dad is called Bill/William, his brother is Billy and Joe's middle name is *cough*...daaayuumm. Sorry, sidetracked, if Joe reads this he's gonna be like what a retard XD.


Urgh I felt so icky this morning, every now and again I get like a week where when I wake up, I feel as if I'm going to throw up...which is never good =/ 


The pantomime I'm doing is going well so far, I ought to learn my lines though, even though it's only like the third rehersal in. I feel really bad though and like I'm going to get in shit. I highlighted all my lines in the book, which to me is perfectly acceptable, but then I found out we weren't supposed to write in them cos we have to give them back...oops. The director Kate is really pissing Lucy off, she's trying to tell us how to sing songs when she's off key and generally sucks at singing haha. 


This week we've been getting performance and effort grades in our lessons, it's basically for our reports and I got:
Biology :       Be Cp
Chemistry :   Ce Cp
Psychology : Ae Bp
My Maths teacher hasn't thought of them yet...
Though in my talks with my biology and chemistry lecturers, my biology teacher, Lindsay, said that she thought I could get an A. Which makes you think, why not just put an A or even a B for performance? Deary. And my Chemistry teacher is worried about me, because I don't talk to anyone. *sigh*


I think it's sleepy time. So I shall post this :) Long Blog today!

Forever Yours

~*~Hayley~*~

=D

Just in case you thought I was just some miserable depressed emo-child I thought I'd pop in a quick post about how happy I am todaaay!!


I was a bit down at the weekend, I get so bogged down by the little things, and I don't even have the balls to talk to anyone about them, no matter how important I am to them. I shrug things off and say I'm fine and all that jazz. But I AM fine now, really and truly and feel more loved than ever; if that's even possible XD. 


I basically spent Thursday-Sunday with Joe, which is why I think I was so down Sunday evening and this morning. I get used to having him around all the time and it just makes it harder when he/I have to leave. But it's well worth it, I hope that I get to see him every day forever more =] Like I said, I've cheered up vastly since I last wrote, so much so that I roll my eyes thinking about how miserable I sound. I annoy myself sometimes lol


And what have I done today? Well, this morning I had Maths which was good, Georgia and I were singing Journey - Don't Stop Believing and annoying the hell out of Kath because we only know like two lines. And I also had Chemistry, where we basically sit and listen to the teacher talk. I'm not sure whether her style of teaching suits me or not, I understand stuff more now and it seems to retain in my head, but that could just be to do with the fact I don't have Florence and Zara to distract me. I love them, but they didn't do my grades much good =/ especially when we were 'revising' for the last exam, where we basically procrastinated as much as humanly possible because we didn't 'feel like it'. 


Three out of five of the Universities I applied to have confirmed they have recieved my application. So far:
Peninsula School of Medicine and Dentistry
University of Southampton
Glamorgan


Southampton and Glamorgan sent me a postcard, the first of which I got from Glamorgan on a day where I was a little pissed off, but after getting it in the post I felt so so much better. Peninsula just sent me an email and I was like 'Gee, thanks'. They are my first choice though =/ I don't know why, I wanted to move out, away from my parents, from everything. Especially at the beginning of the year when I just wanted to get away and start over because there were too many memories here. But now I don't want to leave, because I don't know what it will mean for me and Joe =( Every time I think about it I get really selfish and just want him to come with me so we can stay together, but I'd do the same for him if I didn't manage to get in this year. Which given the statistics is very likely unless I'm very lucky. 


But when I think of living with him, it's just indescribable, I want it SO badly it's almost crazy. And just so you know, we'll have been together two months the day after tomorrow. THAT's what makes it crazy, and yet I am crazy about him, much more than I have ever been before.


Wow, this ended up being quite long =/ haha I like having things to write about, I never even mentioned going to Simon's photography lesson or my piano lesson...where I have apparently greatly improved (squee!) 


Oh well, I shall just sign off with a cry of "Up your Viva!" Which I decided was a euphemism for..yeah I think you get the picture :P 

Forever yours

~*~Hayley~*~

Sigh :(

Basically to sum up at the moment I'm going to use my Yahoo! Horoscope:


None of your friends may be at home today, dear Taurus, and so you probably won't be able to have any phone conversations or visits with them. This could cause you to feel rather lonely, and you might brood a little and convince yourself that no one cares about you any more. Snap out of it! You know full well this isn't the case. Read or watch videos until someone rings you up. Believe it, they will!

The only person I've talked to all day has been my mum...great. And yes, I know people have lives, I'm not the centre of the universe and all of that...but I've been desperately lonely all day. When no one makes any kind of contact at all it just makes me feel...unimportant/unwanted. But I am just a really clingy person who hates being alone. I think that's my phobia, being alone and unwanted =/


Enough morbidity, today me and mum (or Mum and I if you prefer) are taking Millie our dog to the dog groomers. Now the leaves are falling, every time she comes in from outside she brings hundreds of leaves in stuck to her tummy fluff. But there's Millie, cute :)

We just got back, I had dinner out with Mum, food out is always good (Y) We went into Bodmin to drop Millie off then went to Wadebridge. I got a new bin lol, thrilling stuff there. But apparently there was an apple in my current one and it started to seep through the bottom...which was just gross =/. 


I was about to paint another one of my walls, but I forgot to clean the brushes last night and so the little one had dried up a little bit..soo I now have to wait for them to dry before I can carry on. I suppose that just means I have to do something productive for example some revision which I am in dire need of. I'm resitting AS Chemistry..yay plus I'm resitting the second Psychology exam in January. Which is 12 weeks away :S I'm really not looking forward to that, especially seeing as the chemistry is stuff I was learning this time last year and it's sort of not in my head at the moment. I'm sure I'll manage and hopefully do better than I did last year. Fingers crossed and pray!


I've downloaded so much music lately, I downloaded all of Nickelback, The All American Rejects, Weezer and 3 Doors Downs' music. Like ALL of it. So I now have over 1000 tracks on iTunes. iLike :P I also got all of the B-Sides and rare tracks that Paramore have done, so I'll have learnt all their music by the time we go and see them in December. Which I'm really really really looking forward to :D Road trip babae!


I may be going out later, I don't really know what's going on. As I've said, I haven't spoken to anyone since sunday...sucks to be me I guess. And now seeing as I've been thoroughly depressing, I shall leave and do some chemistry revision. Wish me Luck!

~*~Hayley~*~

Oops! I did it again

I had saved a post....but it vanished =/ that was interesting... So I have no idea what I babbled on about on that one.


But Hi! I'm very very hungry at the moment and quite lonely. So that's why I've resorted to writing stuff as if I were having an actual conversation. It has been a while hasn't it?
I can't remember when I my last post was or where to begin...*goes to look* Ah Sunday. Well this week, I spent all the possible free time with Joe, who in reality is the only thing that actually gets me to get out of bed in a morning. I have all these dreams for my future all of which involve me doing well, but he's the main driving motivation.


Maths is strangely funny at times, my lecturer has the worst sense of humour in the world and makes all these crappy jokes. But he's as annoyed with Matt as the rest of us are, and every time Matt says anything Simon (the lecturer) is there rolling his eyes and like 'Yes Matt, now shut up and stop trying to be a know-it-all'. Emphasis on the word trying :P But yeah, Georgia and I like to whine about him, it's fun :) she decided we would put him in an airtight perspex box, even though I pointed out he would most likely die...on her head be it!
We spent quite a bit of maths today singing The Kings of Leon - Use Somebody, classic song.  


But yeah, tomorrow night I'm going out with my friends for Lyd's 18th birthday. Food tiime :) I think it's gonna be goood and as an added perk, two more days of Joe ♥

As Always,

Yours

♥♥♥

:D Happy

I'm having another of those very non-eloquent moments, I'm the happiest I've ever been and can't seem to find any words for it. I spent a good few minutes there looking through quotes, because I'm just a little bit sad. There were several that jumped out at me:


"What I feel for you seems less of earth and more of a cloudless heaven."
"I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you."
"You're nothing short of my everything." 

I'm having a very sappy day, my heart feels warm in my chest; always. I thought I had loved deeply before, but that pales in comparison with this. I just want to be with him all the time, and any time away from him is time wasted. 

In other news XD, I spent the weekend with Joe, as you may have realised from my babbling :P It was the best two days of my life. End of story.

My UCAS is currently being considered by the universities I have applied to, I have no idea how long it'll take for them to get back to me, if I get any offers I'll be quite frankly astounded. The idea that out of the hundreds of applicants for medicine, anyone would pick me, the average one, is just not going to happen. Meh I'll stay positive, if I get in, I can always brag about that :P But yeah, I've finished my to do list, and have nothing useful to do. Except revise like a bitch and homework. I'm supposed to be focussing on my education this year, I said at the beginning that seeing as I had no more distractions, I would get on with being a good girl. But so far this year I've learned how to not be a social pariah and still do well. I'm nerding out this year, and I'm loving every second of it.

At the moment, I'm missing writing :( I loved writing stories and stuff. But I seem to have lost my mojo, I can't think of anything. Writers block sucks. I love writing something, letting the words flow out of your fingers and then reading back over it and thinking 'wow, I thought of that'. It's like when I solve a really hard maths problem, and when you've finished, you look over the workings out and feel proud that you accomplished that. Oh yeah, I'm a maths nerd :P I looove maths, it's great.

But yeah, I'm babbling quite a bit, and Joe's going to be reading this and I don't think he needs/wants to hear about my love of maths =/

C'est la vie, so they say. I have a good feeling about next week, it's going to be good. I don't know why I think that, it's just a feeling in my gut. I tend to follow my gut, otherwise I'd never do anything XD 

But anyway I'm going to go now, and come back another day.

Peace out dudes :P

~*~Hayley~*~

♥ I love you Joe Reid ♥

Celebrate good times come on!

*Sigh* Sent off my UCAS application in the nick of time!! I thought I was going to crash and burn, completely missing the deadline but I did it! So that's a load off of my mind. I officially have predicted grades of AABB which is pretty spiffy if you ask me :)


Just got Google Chrome, I'd recommend it just because its so pretty XD I'd put a screenshot on here if it didn't involve saving it, uploading it etc because lets face it, it's nearly midnight..and I'm pretty tired. Though the blogger theme doesn't go with my colour scheme of orange pink and green so yeah its kind of annoying.


Didn't really do much today, I had Maths and Psychology where we worked and stuff. Then I saw Joe for a while (♥) and then I had to go see my tutor to finish Uni application. Then I spent the rest of the day with Joe (♥♥♥) who I'm kind of in love with :P as you might have guessed :D I pretty much live for the time I get to spend with him, which isn't nearly as much as I'd like :( So much so I am considering moving closer to Truro XD to be practical, it would really help my grades because I wouldn't need to get up at 6 in the morning so I can get to college. The fact I'd be closer to Joe is just a perk ;)


Anyway I'm sleepy and probably am not making a great deal of sense =/

'Night

~*~Hayley~*~

♥ p.s. I love you ♥

Lost Post

Hm, I had started to write another post...but I had to leave so I saved it. But apparantly not, it has now vanished :S I can't even remember what I wrote, it was a while ago..

I was asked a minute ago by my friend (who I don't talk to as much as I used to since he stopped flirting with me and got a girlfriend) if I was happy. Thinking about it, my heart warmed in a literal sense and I had a stupidly big grin. All I could think of to reply was that 'yes I really really am' as you've learnt I'm HIGHLY eloquent XD But there are no real words to describe it, the only thing that seems to grasp how you feel are songs where someone else managed to find the words for you. And every time you hear it, you always think of that person that makes you feel the exact same way.

Speaking of love and happiness ;) I stayed at Joe's on friday night. I don't think he really grasps how much I'd rather just stay with him forever and never have to leave. If I could have my own way we would do. But I have enough dreams as it is :D Let's just say I'm very tired right now and it's all his fault (Jumping up and down on me shouting 'Hayleeyy wake upp!! It's morningg!!' at 3:00am...yeah, morning XD) it's the times he's being absolutely crazy that make me realise how lucky I really am and how amazing he is. Well, not at the time, I wanted to sleep. But now i think its really cute :P

I dont really have anything to talk about now =/ I've spent most of my free time with Joe...college seems to be easier this year. Well not easier but it's more fun and I'm putting more effort in which makes it seem easier. Last year the effort never really happened. Thankfully everyone understands why I'm being anti-social because after the results day last year I think a lot of people realised they need to do more this year. I'm just glad University is on the same lever, I don't think I could take any more.

I had a lovely lecture from mum about where I'm heading. Apparantly I need to put more effort in, I'm already putting in twice as much as last year! It just ended with me seriously considering changing my entire future beause she just made me think I couldn't do it. My mum's nice and all most of the time, but I don't get on with her because she just damages my self esteem. Up to this point I let her make me believe I was fat to the point I hated myself. Which is very vain, but I felt awkward enough as it was, *points to picture* :P I was never anything special, always in the background being invisible.

Not quite sure how I got on to that tangent... figured I ought to stop XD

I'll say good-bye because I'm now running on empty :S

~*~ Hayley ~*~
P.s.
I
Love
You
Joe
Reid
♥

Sticky Hair :(

Got back from the CAOS meeting/audition. It was kinda boring, I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just that having to sit and listen to a bunch of 13 year olds who can't read try and read a script is not exactly five-star entertainment. We're doing Aladdin, which isn't as cool as Alice in Wonderland (which is what we were going to do) but meh. It's my aim in life to be a Princess :D

The stupid fat chavvy girl on my bus home from college thought it would be fucking hilarious to put chewing gum in my hair. Thanks. At first they were just throwing like, tinfoil or something, but they obviously ran out and decided to use chewing gum instead. And they found it so fucking hilarious like they'd been just oh so cool, when really they're just fat chavs that need to grow up and stop being dickheads.

On the plus side I spent pretty much the entire day with Joe :) we were being attractive as we ate in Subway :P I'm ALWAYS attractive though, yeah Joe, ALWAYS. He needed to go shopping, and I found out that he's not actually that bad. He's better than Ben who takes fudging forever trying stuff on, then not actually buying stuff saying he'll 'get it some other time'. Lol, I'm giving up shopping because I have to save for a holiday me, Lucy and Ben are going on. Squee :D

*Sigh* I'm tiired, and I don't think Joe's coming back online :( Oh well, his loss :P

Bed Time :)
Hayley

Elocution

I hate it when someone says something to you that means a lot to them, and you have no idea what to say in return. Especially when it's something that makes you so unbelievably happy that you want to jump around squealing. Then your lack of words make them think you don't care and the both of you feel horrible. But I'm glad I didn't swear off of relationships like I said I would earlier this year because, I don't know, it's like having just one thing thats constant. Everything else can be swirling in a pool of absolute shite, but I know he'll always be there to pick up the pieces.

I'll shut up, it's getting sappy.

In other news, my brother's gone :) I shouldn't be happy, but he was annoying me and he made my parents annoyed quite a bit. Not that I ever knew what was going on with him, I thought he was going to be in his room forever more then one evening mum was like 'yeah so I'm taking Simon to the station tomorrow' and I just said 'Where's he going?!?' turns out he was going to look for a house...good to know, thanks for letting me know ¬.¬ and when a week later he got back they were like 'so have you packed yet?' again making me ask where he's going. Turns out he's going back to uni on the sunday. Again, thanks for telling me. Urgh, I like to know what's happening you know? I like to have a grasp on changes and stuff.

I get a suprise on Saturday though :) I have no idea what it is, but I bet it'll be good. I'm going round to Joe's house on friday and staying over. And I get my suprise in the evening. I'm probably being very impatient and annoying him no end asking about it, but I'm very impatient, I don't like having to wait for things I want. Which makes me sound like a spoiled brat XD

Still no luck on the UCAS form front, I was supposed to ring the Work Experience place today but I never seemed to have the time...oh well. ten days yesterday :S

Wish me luck!

~*~Hayley~*~

Not a People Person...

It's been so cold today :( I can tell we're in for another freezing winter. God I love England XD I was sat in my room earlier wearing my Uggs, a scarf and gloves. My dad decided to fit the new window and so there was a giant hole in the wall for a while :P The new window looks much better, brown PVC is never the way to go.

Don't you just hate it when your parents ruin things for you and make you let people down? I guess really all it takes is to be so afraid of making people angry that you'll go along with whatever anyone says regardless of what you really want. And seeing as my parents hold the power over me, its usually the ones I love that get hurt by it. But there's nothing I can do about it, except move out. Which is what I plan to do next year, or as soon as possible. I just hate feeling like someone has the power to decide what I do, rather than me deciding what to do. I think I just have a problem with authority and would much rather do whatever the hell I like all the time.

The deadline for my UCAS application was yesterday :S I haven't finished it which is really starting to worry me. I'm relying on the people at the hospital to get back to me so that I can finish my personal statement and then I'm done. I hate waiting for other people to get their acts together. When it's something quite important you'd think they'd get their asses in gear wouldn't you? I mean they KNOW I'm applying for Medicine and that the deadline is soon, they've probably grasped that I'm putting this down in my personal statement but guess what? They're going to take their time over this :@

I'm really not a people person today, everything everyone does just annoys me. I get like that every now and again, and I just stay in my room so I don't have to inflict myself on anyone. It's worse when I'm in college and people want to talk to me and I just want to tell them all to go and fuck off, then probably cry if they did. Just can't win with that one :S

On to happier things, we cultured E. coli in Biology yesterday, and it was strangely fun. It probably helped that we had a bunsen burner going the entire time and the flame was pretty :) And I love how it seemed like 'real science' unlike all the crappy stuff we usually do which doesn't seem to really matter. How careful we had to be just seemed to make it more fun. Which is probably weird to anyone who isnt me but whatever, I'm a nerd like that :P

Oh! And I'm actually talking to the people in my psychology class now XD I don't know why, but I couldn't actually find the guts to talk to any of them. I was always absolutely petrified in that room, I don't know why, I guess the extreme shyness is catching up with me again :S I had to read something out to the class the other day, and by the time I'd finished I was blushing furiously and my hands were shaking. And people doubt that I'm actually shy. I don't even know why I was doing it, they're all perfectly nice people, one is the twin of one of my good friends. But still, I'm starting to talk now so it's all good. I've just got to talk in chemistry now.

This is a long blog :P I had a lot of ranting to do apparantly...I'm now worried about when anyone actually reads it. I don't really do the bad emotions in real life, the bad stuff's pushed to the back. Which is really bad to do, but no one wants to hear it. I just write about it, stories and stuff. Though I've been lacking creativity lately and can't write anything...I miss it :(

Much love
~*~Hayley~*~
P.S. I love you
♥ Joe ♥

CBA

Haven't written here for a while..I just haven't had the energy :( I've fallen asleep talking to Joe twice now which isn't good. It doesn't help I always feel so gross when I wake up. Last night I woke up, Joe had gone, I felt like shit so I went back to sleep then what seemed like a minute later I had to get up. It's just not fun. That's the only thing I have to complain about...I'm fucking shattered and in desperate need of some sleep. (Or 'sleep' ;P)

But yeah, I don't have all that much to write about =/ except that me, Joe and a bunch of other people went to pizza hut to celebrate Jess and Abi's birthdays. Which was good, Ben and Joe had a competition to see who could eat the most pizza, though Annie kicked all their asses. Girl Power FTW! Though I did have to skive tutor which is no real sacrifice, its a pile of shit. I hate my tutor...I may have mentioned that already :S

My brother is moving back to Uni this weekend, he was supposed to be going to China to work with some Chinese computer nerds for a year but that fell through due to the credit crunch. So after several months of slobbing around doing fuck all he arranged to go back to uni this year instead of next year. Which is good...because he seriously smells :( personal hygene is not his strong point!

Ooh, I might have arranged some work experience! At Treliske hospital in the Haematology Department. I'm not quite sure what I'll be doing...but I know that blood is involved :) Ben is disgusted, he has a slight blood phobia so I keep asking him if he would like some free blood :P he wasn't impressed.

We're culturing E Coli in Biology tomorrow :S I'm not entirely sure how safe that's going to be, the only reassurance I have is that they wouldn't let us do it in school if it were dangerous...right? Oh well, just as long as I don't get infected that'll be juuuust fine.

I have chemistry homework to do, I just can't quite get up the ability to care...I mean I do care, it's just I can't be bothered.

I'm going to go :)

~*~Hayley~*~

Bored :(

Today I basically just tidied my room and wrote up my psychology notes, because I'm keen and was really really bored :( So I basically have nothing to write about, so here's a different story of mine, the prologue if you like :P

Sealed With a Poison Filled Kiss

No one could tell from the look of me that I had been touched by something so out of the ordinary that it literally took my breath away. But have you ever been involved with something that you knew could just be the thing that kills you, yet you do nothing? You merely continue to wander through the oppression from every side and follow unwittingly to your almost certain doom. Of course, when is life ever an option when you're dealing with vampires? They are the beings of the night, are they not? They suck on your very soul, deciding within mere seconds whether to let you live an immortal life or die, drained of your ruby life. This tale will shake the very core of what you think you know of vampires, they are still ever surprising, being unusual amongst themselves and driven by a force so human that it will change your every stereotype of a vampire.

And no, it's not a Twilight rip-off and if anyone else suggests it is then I will personally rant my head off at them XD But yeah, I have way too much free time, I need to get a life stat!

~*~Hayley~*~

This heart it beats, beats for only you

I FINISHED MY PERSONAL STATEMENT!!!

So that pretty much made my day, I've never been do proud of myself. Lol though I sent it to Dave King and he'll probably make me change it, but I did it!

But that's pretty much what I did today... Oh, I got Paramore's new album Brand New Eyes today, and it's pretty fucking awesome. I'm now really really really excited for when I see them in December. I'd love to have the opportunity to meet them, but I doubt that'd happen :( They'd probably think I was some crazy obsessed stalker who changed her name ¬.¬

I'm going to go and do my oh-so-thrilling statistics homework. I'm not even being sarcastic, I'm a stats nerd B-) lol

~*~Hayley~*~

Listening to : Paramore - Looking Up
♥ Joe ♥

I'm so ronery

My best friends and my boyfriend have gone to a party. So now I'm stuck here on my own :( Ohh well, I had constructive stuff to do, ie nothing. Though I probably ought to write some more of one of my stories because I've had readers harping on in various corners of the internet harping on about how I haven't updated any of my stories in months. I have stuff going on and I just don't feel that creative at the moment. Writer's block grr.

But yeah, I can never remember what I've done in the day, you'd think I sat on my arse all the time. I don't I swear!

Joe is ill with some kind of flu (not swine I hope) :( so he didn't come into college. I missed him. He was going to come in but he felt too rough so I let him stay at home because I'm just lovely like that :D Get better soon Joe! I loves youu xxx

I stayed up till 12:30am on monday writing an essay due in on tuesday in Psychology. I thought I'd have done really bad in it because I had to pretty much restart it at 11:00pm monday night :S but the other day our lecturer said the highest score was 18/25 and when I got my essay back today sure enough, I'd got 18/25. Which is a solid B. This pleases me. Since I got back to college and I haven't had Matt bugging me all the time and I'm actually focussing, and I've been doing so much better than I was this time last year. I actually enjoy coming to college, and that's saying something.

But I have to go sleep now cos its like 10:30 and I'm shattered.

~*~Hayley~*~

Sun :)

I've never seen so much sun as there has been since I got back to college. I'm choosing to ignore yesterday when it was miserable, but other than that it's been great :) I just realised that this is like when I used to keep a diary when I was younger, just me going on about my day. Yesterday was probably the shittest day ever. ILP day, basically we spent the majority of the day having talks about university and writing personal statements. Which I know are important and all but you'd rather be doing something else with your time. That's probably why my friends and I went to the cinema afterwards. District 9 is a good film, has a very documentary-ish feel about it at the beginning and the end. It's pretty good, some gory bits as well which are always good :D

But yeah, today I went to the new coffee machine in Mylor and it sort of freaked out on me. It gave me three cups and the latte went all over the place and half of it got in to the middle cup. Try and work that one out! So I threw it in the bin because there was coffee and foam everywhere and I didn't want to have to deal with that (I have a tendency to end up looking like an idiot XD) so I went into town and to Starbucks instead. So much less hassle! (Oh yeah, that is actually the one I went to, I'm that sad :P) Unfortunately I saw Matt in there and I don't think he noticed me, because that would have been a little awkward. Also, the guy who doesn't usually charge me for eating in was making the drinks rather than serving.

But after that I had to go to tutor, but I got out straight away so I could go and talk to David King who is the man who sorts out all the med-school hopefuls with their UCAS applications and personal statements and stuff. He only wanted to see me to make sure I had sat the UKCat. When I told him my results he thought I was fantastic :P so that's always good. I just have like five re-sits next year as well as my other exams.

I'm going to go and rewrite my personal statement, after my tutor wrote all over it =/ I hate that woman...

The Buccaneer

Yeah, so this is the latest thing I've written, it's entitled The Buccaneer because I'm studying for my Grade 6 Piano and one of my pieces is 'The Buccaneer' by Arnold. And it's kick ass :P

So yeah, here it is! (I can't be bothered with spacing, so you'll just have to deal with it :P)

The air was filled with screams and the unmistakable stench of death. Amy had hidden behind some crates below the deck of The Rising Sun, but she knew her time was running out. Her family were probably captured by now and there was nothing she could do to help. She whispered to herself, praying that they could be saved and yet the screams never faltered. She looked up startled as she heard crashes at the other end of the room, she knew it was the end, she knew that it was now that she was going to die. The men were throwing the crates her father was transporting about the cargo-hold, searching undoubtedly for her. She hardly dared to breathe as their footsteps moved closer and had to clasp both hands to her mouth to keep from screaming. She closed her eyes as the crates that had been her hiding place were thrown aside and the men roughly grabbed her by the arms and began to drag her back up on to the deck. Amy struggled, even though she knew it was futile, what chance did she have against a group of three grown men? She tried to wriggle out of their grasp but one of the men punched her in the gut, pushing the air from her lungs and she stopped fighting.
The smell of salt burned her nose as they reached the deck, all the screaming had stopped and as Amy looked around she gasped as she saw each lifeless body adorning the ships deck. Blood pooled all around staining the wood, making it look like a battlefield. Tears leaked from Amy's eyes as she saw the cook, her dearest friend lying motionless on her back. No where around had she seen her family, which she supposed she was thankful for, but these people were her family, she had grown up on this ship surrounded by all these wonderful people. And now they were gone.
The men led her to the bulwarks around the perimeter of the boat to where Amy could now see her family crying in grief over their lost crew. She tried to run to them but her entourage refused to let go of her. She glared at the man on his right, but he just winked at her. The other man, walking behind her pushed her roughly forwards, making her stumble and fall onto the deck. The blood of her crew soaked into her dress and a few more tears tumbled down her cheeks. She quickly stood, trying to muster all the propriety of the daughter of a Duke and turned to face the invading crew's captain. In the darkness she couldn't really see him, just a silhouette standing before her, his hand holding his sword loosely in his right hand, liquid dripping off of the end.
"Are you too cowardly to show us your face?" Amy asked coldly, sounding much more brave than she felt, she just hoped she hadn't just sealed her fate. Before she realised what had happened, the Captain was in front of her face, a dim glow showing his face and she gasped. The man before her was so encased in dirt he was hardly recognisable as a human being, a thick beard only disguising any humanity further.
"I'd rather not be called a coward by somone who is weak enough to be crying," he spat at her, more tears escaped her eyes and the Captain visibly rolled his dark green eyes at her and stepped back again.
"Now," he began, "you have enough cargo on this ship to make me a very rich man, so; I am having my men load all the crates from below on to our ship. How well you behave until this is complete decides your fate. However, one of you has had your fate already sealed. You, you had the nerve to stab my second in command, and for that you shall die."
"NO! Not here, please! I beg you, don't do this in front of my daughters." Tears spilled out of her eyes at her Fathers pleas though even she knew they were futile. The Captain dragged her father in front of Amy, her mother, brother and sister who were all sobbing uncontrollably. Amy couldn't take her eyes off of the site of the Captain raising his sword and swinging it forward, cutting off her fathers head. She winced as his head hit the ground, his body slumping moments later. Amy closed her eyes and tried to block out the image she knew would be behind her eyelids forever more. Her sister Katherine was sobbing loudly along the row of them and the Captain glared at her and called to one of his men,
"This one seems to be a little emotional, have your way with her in any way you please and make sure to finish the job." The man nodded greedily and rushed forward to claim Kat, her mother screamed in protest and her brother threatened to kill him if he laid a finger on her but he lazily took his gun out of his belt and shot the both of them, the bangs silenced their protests.
Amy was frozen, her family was gone, she had no one left. But why was she still breathing? What was he going to do to her? The Captain walked towards her again and looked her over. Amy didn't like how he was looking at her, as if she were a piece of meat that he couldn't decide how well to cook it.
"And you, you get the pleasure of living having seen what you have seen. You get to become my...entertainer of sorts," he rubbed a hand down the side of her cheek, scratching her with his well-calloused hands. She winced away but he just patted her roughly and walked away. "Bring her to the ship," he called over to his men, and as an afterthought he added, "and don't touch my property."
As she was being dragged off to the Captains ship, all Amy could think of was how she was being forced to live with the man who had taken everything from her. How long was she going to survive?

Captain Nathaniel Harrison of the ship The Blue Moon was revelling in the success of the previous days plunder. Why, after they'd sold that cargo they could go back to land for the winter and live as the rich gentleman they all wished to be. his first mate was thankfully doing well, the stab wound would heal in a matter of days, he was sat on a crate near where Nathaniel was steering.
"You know Jacob, Marie told you you should be in your quarters and you know how she gets," Nathaniel pointed out, looking pointedly behind Jacob. Jacob was Nathaniels oldest friends and the two had begun the crew of the Blue Moon together. Nathaniel had insisted that Jacob was to be the Captain, but the other had given the post to Nathaniel claiming he had no wish for power.
Jacob jumped up and looked behind him with a worried expression on his face,
"Is she around? She'd have my guts for garters if she knew I was out of bed!" Nathaniel chuckled and said,
"Relax Jake, she's in the kitchens. So we comondeer one of the most feared ships on the Ocean and you're afraid of the cook?" Nathaniel knew that Marie was a woman to be feared, she acted as the ships mother figure. When a lot of men spend all their time together there are bound to be arguments that only a womans touch could resolve. Nathaniel also knew of the torch Jacob held for Marie, you only had to spend a moment in the same room as the two of them to know that there was attraction there. Nathaniel hoped they would hurry up and get together already, both being of a ripe age to marry. Marie was young at four and twenty and Jacob was eight and twenty. The whole crew knew it was only a matter of time and when that time came, none of them would be surprised.
"I'll have you know that that woman is very very scary, she could reduce the King of England to a quivering wreck,"
"Aye that's true," Nathaniel agreed, "what she needs is a good man to tie her down somewhere for a while, Marie needs a good seeing to," he added smiling suggestively at Jacob, cocking an eyebrow. Jacob blushed scarlet and turned away from Nathaniel,
"Nat, that's not funny. And keep your voice down, someone might hear you,"
"Jake, everyone already knows, except for Marie. So could you put everyone out of their misery and tell her how you feel already?" Jake paled and looked scared,
"She wouldn't feel the same way, no one like that could love me." Jake stood and walked down to the deck, heading to his quarters so as to avoid the wrath of his love. Unfortunately for Nathaniel, he knew Marie had a special place in her heart purely for Jake, but he was having little success with convincing her to tell him either.
Nat sighed and turned his thoughts to his latest aquisition; the girl. He supposed he ought to go and talk to her. Nat ran a hand through his hair and scrunched his nose and his fingers caught in the knots. 'Well,' he thought, 'at least I'm not vain enough to care'. He then called to Harry, one of the crew, and asked him to take over steering. Nat was going to meet his entertainer.
When Amy woke the next morning she could dimly remember the horrors of the night before, her head felt fuzzy as if most of her brain had been removed. She sat and thought for a few moments, she knw she was on the ship of the pirate that killed her family yet she couldn't remember any details. She couldn't remember how her parents died. She sniffed and shifted her weight, uncomfortable showing emotions on this alien ship, even though no one was around. She was startled by the softness of her surroundings, laying in an ornate wooden bed with deep red duvet and curtains. This surely couldn't just be the accomodation for guests? Though Amy wouldn't class herself as a guest on this boat, more of a prisoner. But, she supposed she had been invited aboard even though she really had not given consent. Amy had thought that she would be in some kind of holding cell below deck.
She stretched, forcing her stomach skywards until she heard her spine crack then flopped back onto the mattress sighing loudly.
"I hope you approve of your living arrangements," Amy bolted into a sitting position when the voice disurbed her relaxation. Sure enough it was the Captain from the night before looking as inhuman as before. She tried to look into his face to see behind the matted hair covering his head and face but could only see his dark green eyes looking mockingly at her. Amy frowned and asked,
"How might I help you Sir?" The Captain looked amused for a moment and strode towards the bed Amy was sat upon.
"Do you know why you are here girl?" The Captain asked sneering at her. Amy recoiled further back towards the headboard, unsure as to what he meant. Surely she was just a prisoner? She shook her head, knowing that no words were forming in her mind. He rolled those emerald green eyes at her and scooted down the bed until she had been cornered. The Captain grinned wickedly and Amy whined slightly in fear.
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Amy said, again managing to sound more brave than she actually was. The Captains grin deepened as he moved towards her throat, Amy wondered what he planned on doing once he got there, because it is merely flesh is it not? The Captain pressed a firm kiss just below her ear smiling against it as Amy shuddered slightly.
"And now, everyone will know that you are my property," he whispered in her ear. Amy was silenced, she just nodded absent-mindedly, her flesh was on fire with a mixture of surprise and anger. I am HIS property? She thought.
"And what do you mean by property?" Amy whispered sure he wouldn't actually hear her. The Captain drew back and regarded her whilst reclining on his elbows,
"Mine to do with what I wish. I assume you know what I mean by that," he raised an eyebrow mockingly and Amy's cheeks flushed...surely not?
"NO," Amy snapped and the Captains face looked shocked for a moment, "I am the daughter of a Duke and I shall not allow you to take my purity from me." With every word she spoke she sounded more and more sure of herself and Nathaniel was taken aback. He was sure that she would just fall at his feet and allow him to have his way..yet she was putting up a fight.
"Sadly, that is indeed what I shall do. I and believe you would live much more comfortably on my ship if you did not shout at me. After all I am giving you my quarters and feeding you." Amy frowned, his quarters?
"But where shall you sleep?" Even though this man was dreadful she didn't like the idea that he would have no where to sleep because of her.
"Why, is that sympathy Miss Fisher? Why then, I think you should find my arrangements quite agreeable then," he winked at her and Amy tilted her head in confusion. Nathaniel laughed, this was going to be more fun than he had ever thought. "Because I'm sleeping here." The look of confusion increased and Nat had to try very hard not to laugh. He knew that sooner or later it was going to hit home.
"But," she began, "I'm staying here...and for you to also stay here...that would mean that...NO! Are you kidding me? I not only have to be your concubine I also have to sleep WITH you. No. No, no, no no NO! I won't!" Amy jumped off the bed and stormed through the door. Nathaniel was dumbstruck, this one has fire he thought.
What could he be thinking? Amy wondered as she stormed to the deck. She wanted to know why he was doing this to her, what she had done to him to deserve this but she just wanted out. She wanted to get off this boat even if it meant she didn't survive to tell the tale. When she reached the deck the rain hit her like a cold flannel. She shivered slightly and marched towards the railing. Luckily few people were around and those who were there just stared at the girl slowly climbing up onto the railing, holding onto some nearby rope for support. They would have helped, but the Captain had instructed none of them to touch her and they didn't want to disobey him.
"So terrorised the poor girl enough for one day?" Jake asked as he ambled into Nats chamber to find him laying on his bed. Nat grinned and replied,
"That girl has fire. She stormed out moments ago because I told her we were to share a bed." Jacob chuckled and said,
"I haven't seen you laugh like that since..." he looked apologetically at Nat, who shook it off replying,
"Don't say that name, the girl amuses me, that is all. Once I've had my way the others can have her." Jacob looked concerned and winced slightly at his words,
"Why do you keep doing this, what do you really gain from it all? You make them fall in love with you, do what you please and then break their hearts. Well, when I say it it makes perfect sense. Nathaniel you can't punish them all for what happened, not all women are the same. Most of the women you bring on the ship would stand by you forever if you asked them. Please I beg you, don't continue.."
"I think I can live my own life don't you? And I think I'll take my relationship advice from someone who can at least attempt to get who he wants," Nat snapped. He didn't need Jacob bringing up his past when it was all he could do to keep it surpressed. He looked at his friend and his face softened when he realised he had upset him. "Jake, I'm sorry.." Jake held up a hand and smiled,
"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't give my opinion where it is neither needed nor wanted."
They were interrupted by a cabin boy running into the room.
"Captain!" He shouted breathlessly, obviously having run from the deck.
"What is it Harry?" Nat asked. The boy blushed and looked at his feet,
"Your girl," Nats ears pricked up immediately, what had she done? "She tried to throw herself off of the ship, but got her foot caught in the rigging...she's sort of hanging upside down...and some of the crew are finding it very..." Nats blood boiled, he could bet what they found it. Yet none of them helped her! He sprinted out of the cabin and towards the deck. He made a beeline for the crowd of jeering men and snarled, the men heard it and backed off looking sheepish. Nat looked over the edge of the ship and saw Miss Fisher, well, beneath Miss Fishers dress. Nat grinned slightly in spite of himself, but Jacob nudged him to remind him where he was. Nat quickly hoisted himself over the edge of the ship and grabbed the rigging that Amy was dangling from. He climbed down a little way until he was level with her eyes.
Amy was surprised when she saw the Captain but she would have rather that the whole crew hadn't seen her undergarments. Why did things always end badly for her?
"I'm going to have to touch you," he said before adding, "and you ought to get used to it," grinning mischeiviously. Amy rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Yes Captain, but could you hurry? I am slightly wet," Nathaniel positioned himself below her head and raised it, climbing up the rigging so Amy was flung over his shoulder, he untangled her foot and climbed up and onto the ships deck. Without saying anything to the other crew members he strode to his cabin and placed her in his bed. Marie had bustled in wanting to see how the girl was and gasped at the sight of her pale, wet form.
"Nathaniel, I'm going to have to remove her wet clothes, I don't suppose you have any womens clothes still?" The hairs on the back of Nat's neck stood on end, in his minds eye he saw an image of her, looking lovely as always and his heart beated faster just as he thought of her.
"Captain?" Marie asked, Nat shook his head, extinguishing the image from his mind; she was long gone now and he had to learn to deal with it. He crouched and reached beneath the bed, pulling out the large wooden box beneath. His eyes glazed over by his command so that he didn't have to look at the contents of her possessions until he felt the soft fabrics of her garments. He held them out to Marie who took them hastily and turned to Amy. Nat watched as she faltered and frowned in confusion. Marie rounded on him,
"Nathaniel Harrison, think of your manners! Turn around to give this poor girl some dignity." Nat winced and did as she asked. Despite the fact that she was four years younger than him, he knew he should do as she asked; otherwise his meals would be just a touch too salty for a few weeks.

Hi again!

Urgh, so I was reading through my last post and I would like to say that I'm actually such a whiny person it's unbelievable XD. Oh well, it's kind of hard to explain what's happened to me in the past 6-ish months...there's been so much it's like I live in some kind of soap opera. To explain I shall use middle names, cos I'm cool like that :P So that guy I didn't really like and was kind of a rebound, his name is Daniel by the way :P I was in biology one day and one thing led to another and I decided that when you get butterflies when someone touches you it has to be a good sign. So I, disregarding what my head was screaming (ie run away!!) I agreed to become his girlfriend. Biggest mistake EVER. I had always thought I wanted a guy who was willing to make me the most important thing in his life (selfish I know, but meh, we're all a bit selfish) and buy me stuff for no reason and pay for me when we went places. But very soon I learnt that Daniel was all these things to the extreme. He was so paranoid that I was going to leave him for someone else that he felt the need to right my clothes when they exposed a little too much skin for his liking. He would constantly make insecure 'jokes' like "well why don't you just leave me because its clear you want to". It was just little things that added up to making any time with him a living hell. Soon after we got together, college broke up for the summer. I knew that he would get worse when I didn't see him every day and sure enough he got even more insecure that I was cheating on him or whatever. He even took to asking my best friend (who doesn't have a middle name :@) where I was if I hadn't come on to MSN.
If you've ever been trapped in a small box with no means of escape you'll know what those couple of months were like for me. I hated every moment I was with him, I wish I hadn't let it go on for as long as I did, but it doesn't matter now. One night, I was round a friends and we had got a little drunk, my friends more than me as always. They stole my phone from me after I had complained about Daniel and ran upstairs with it. I had thought nothing of it and let them, thinking there wasn't anything on my phone that was important. Later that evening, I checked my phone to see 9 missed calls and 5 messages from Daniel asking if what my friends had said was true, was I really sick of him. I texted back saying that I didn't really know what he was talking about and that we would talk later. Two days later I was single. One day after that I stopped drinking again. So weeks passed, Daniel didn't talk to me and I was perfectly happy about that :D.

Then on the 27th of September James had a party, inviting some of his other friends. (who's names I'll make up, because one probably wouldn't like me using his middle name and I don't know the other ones) and, have you ever just clicked with someone? Like you've known eachother for years yet have only just met? I had one of those moments. When you're trapped in a very serious tickle war with a guy you've only just really met, it doesn't take a bright spark to realise there's chemistry there. Though that day I can say I hooked up one of my friends, Annie with her new boyfriend...Welshy :P

In the end, I basically fell in love with James' best friend, which he was obviously upset about, him being my ex and all :S Lol I finally ran out of steam on that one.

He is abusive though, and I love him for it :P