Not a People Person...

It's been so cold today :( I can tell we're in for another freezing winter. God I love England XD I was sat in my room earlier wearing my Uggs, a scarf and gloves. My dad decided to fit the new window and so there was a giant hole in the wall for a while :P The new window looks much better, brown PVC is never the way to go.

Don't you just hate it when your parents ruin things for you and make you let people down? I guess really all it takes is to be so afraid of making people angry that you'll go along with whatever anyone says regardless of what you really want. And seeing as my parents hold the power over me, its usually the ones I love that get hurt by it. But there's nothing I can do about it, except move out. Which is what I plan to do next year, or as soon as possible. I just hate feeling like someone has the power to decide what I do, rather than me deciding what to do. I think I just have a problem with authority and would much rather do whatever the hell I like all the time.

The deadline for my UCAS application was yesterday :S I haven't finished it which is really starting to worry me. I'm relying on the people at the hospital to get back to me so that I can finish my personal statement and then I'm done. I hate waiting for other people to get their acts together. When it's something quite important you'd think they'd get their asses in gear wouldn't you? I mean they KNOW I'm applying for Medicine and that the deadline is soon, they've probably grasped that I'm putting this down in my personal statement but guess what? They're going to take their time over this :@

I'm really not a people person today, everything everyone does just annoys me. I get like that every now and again, and I just stay in my room so I don't have to inflict myself on anyone. It's worse when I'm in college and people want to talk to me and I just want to tell them all to go and fuck off, then probably cry if they did. Just can't win with that one :S

On to happier things, we cultured E. coli in Biology yesterday, and it was strangely fun. It probably helped that we had a bunsen burner going the entire time and the flame was pretty :) And I love how it seemed like 'real science' unlike all the crappy stuff we usually do which doesn't seem to really matter. How careful we had to be just seemed to make it more fun. Which is probably weird to anyone who isnt me but whatever, I'm a nerd like that :P

Oh! And I'm actually talking to the people in my psychology class now XD I don't know why, but I couldn't actually find the guts to talk to any of them. I was always absolutely petrified in that room, I don't know why, I guess the extreme shyness is catching up with me again :S I had to read something out to the class the other day, and by the time I'd finished I was blushing furiously and my hands were shaking. And people doubt that I'm actually shy. I don't even know why I was doing it, they're all perfectly nice people, one is the twin of one of my good friends. But still, I'm starting to talk now so it's all good. I've just got to talk in chemistry now.

This is a long blog :P I had a lot of ranting to do apparantly...I'm now worried about when anyone actually reads it. I don't really do the bad emotions in real life, the bad stuff's pushed to the back. Which is really bad to do, but no one wants to hear it. I just write about it, stories and stuff. Though I've been lacking creativity lately and can't write anything...I miss it :(

Much love
~*~Hayley~*~
P.S. I love you
♥ Joe ♥