Welcome To Dreamland

I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to write here =/


Spent the past couple of days at Joe's and I don't think I need to say how happy I was while I was there. Joe babbles a lot about stuff, and I love hearing him say all those things :) it just makes me feel so loved which is a feeling I can't live without.


But then I came home...fun times. After some drama at Joe's when his Dad walked in and said that Wadebridge was impassable...I was like what?!? It was sunny in Camborne at the time so the idea of snow was a bit laughable. I decided I would trek home anyways, with the proviso set out by Joe that if the buses weren't running I was to go back to his house (ie home =3) sadly though, I was told to get the train if the buses weren't running by my mother. And so I got the train after having missed the 'good' bus by 10 minutes. Dad came and picked me up and took me home to find mum (who I'd phoned twice earlier to find her in good spirits), silent and mardy as some kinda of mardy cow. Sorry if you don't understand the word, its just the only way I can think of describing it. Mardy : A definition. But yeah, she hasn't actually spoken to me since I got in and she asked in this far off, quiet voice if I'd had a good time. I'd spoken to her not an hour before and she was fine! I'm not even going to try and figure that one out. 


But yeah, so here I am, waiting for my Dad to get tired of her mardiness and yell at her. I don't know which one I hate more, mum's moods or them yelling at eachother. It's been a while since they have, but I've never been able to get used to it.


I don't think I can handle strong emotions well, if anyone yells, is upset or any other strong emotion I generally just go quiet and wait for it to go away. Which is quite childish I suppose, but I suppose its just a reflex now.


But anyways, I was thinking earlier, and I've decided that I'm not going to let myself get bogged down about anything any more. And that's a pretty hard thing for me to do because I over analyse every little thing and get worked up about the little things. I'm also going to try and be able to talk about how I feel when it matters. Because I think that that is an awful thing to put the other person through when you have no idea how to voice the words that are screaming inside your head. Especially when I'm with Joe, he has no trouble saying what's on his mind or how he's feeling, but me? I think I'd rather get hit by a bus than admit how I feel, even though I know the outcome wouldn't be bad.


I'm just a crazy person :P


Much love hugs :)
Hayley