Just a bit of a break down

At this moment in time; I don't want to go.

I want to fail

I want to be stuck in this shit hole for another year

I want to have to go back to college and redo everything I've done this past year.

Why?

Because I don't want to be further away from him than I already am.

45.6 miles are heartbreaking enough as it is, how am I going to handle 65.6?

And I know it's only an hour and three quarters by train,

But I don't want to.

I can't be without him, it hurts too much