Cos maybe I haven't posted in a while...

Well I don't really have much to write, I haven't really done anything in the 9 months I haven't written a blog post...I could have had a kid in that time lol.

But that's how long its taken me to finish my first year at uni, only have to wait a month to see if they'll let me into the second year. Hopefully lol. I've passed two of the modules for definite because we took the exam on the computer so you got your results straight away. So two 2:1s and four other modules to pass. Great.

I've met some wonderful people this year, its really nice to have people to talk to who have the same interests as me and we have some pretty nerdy jokes that we find hilarious but others would just think were weird...

Even though one of my friends is leaving for stupid America next year, he's moving to Oregon for his second year, and I hope it rains on him -.- haha. One of my friends thinks he's a bit of a know-it-all and keeps going on about how lucky he is to go somewhere so sunny, I mean yes, Oregon is next to California, but also Washington State, and it rains most of the time there...I mean its where Twilight is set for that very reason.

But anyway, away from my limited knowledge of American states, I'm back at work for the next four months, the money's looking good, but I'd rather just not...early mornings were never my thing and especially not now that I can't seem to sleep before 2am, making getting up at seven an inhumane thing to expect me to do. But the money's good and will help me to pay off my overdraft and I can pick up learning to drive again.

I'm not sure what to do with myself this summer though, I've got another 6 weeks here on my own before mum finishes at school so I'm going to have to make the most of that. I've found my mum to have somehow got more..shrill since I was last here. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope haha.

Anyway I've been requested to get some shopping so I ought to do that before she gets home.

I'll try to write more often :)
Hayley x

I haven't blogged in quite a while. I couldn't say why, I just haven't really had anything I can write about. Freshers is just completely mad, I was never in to going out late, 11o'clock and I'm tired and want to go to bed, midnight and I'm already asleep. But here, people don't go out till like 10, 11o'clock which is crazy! Then you don't get back until 2,3o'clock in the morning before you cram in 4 hours sleep before you have to get up again.


Sorry but that just isn't me. Go out at about 8 sure, come back at like midnight, I could handle. You get the same time out but you get back a whole lot earlier and you don't feel as crap the next day.


I sound like an old lady.


But the past couple of weeks have been great, splitting my time between uni and seeing Joe. So I've been spending monday till friday with my uni peeps, going out every now and again and friday till sunday with Joe. It's great because by the time sunday comes around I only have to wait 5 days to see him again. I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep it up all term, I might have to stay home some weekends and do work, because I daresay there are going to be some scary essays I have to write. Essays on science! 


So the fire alarm went off at 10:30 this morning. I know I shouldn't really complain, it was late in the morning, but it was set off because of someone who burnt pasta..I didn't even know you could burn pasta! And I was still all warm in bed as well :(


And I have a stonking cold
And my throat hurts
And even though I get to see him more than I did I still miss him

I've thought about what I've been writing and this is really personal, even for me. Reason 1 why I'm glad I know all the people following my blog XD




This sucks.


For the most part, it sucks because since I got here 3 days ago, all I've done is missed him. Well, I went out monday night, but I still spent most of it with him, especially when some guy with the wrong idea thinks it would be a good idea to start pressing himself against me. At which point I swiftly move away and try to stay in the company of the girls I know that I'm there with.


But I now have a bright pink blow up guitar, so the evening wasn't a total loss, I just have to wait for the pictures to come up.


Part of me just wishes that I could just sort of skip this part of my life, this might just have come from starting to read The Time Travellers Wife in Starbucks on monday. I don't know how or why someone would write such a tragically sad book, but I can't seem to stop reading it. And crying. A lot.


But I just wish I could skip this part of my life and just go straight to the marriage and children part. I've been a very broody person since I was about 15, a fact I have kept from Joe in case it makes him want to run to the hills. I was talking to Lucy the other day who said that she could quite happily have a child now, but wouldn't because of the crapness of life. Personally, I can't wait. I really can't. But I'll have to; for now.


I've been in a fairly bleak mood today, crying a lot and missing Joe so terribly that I can do nothing else but cry. I guess that's what got me onto thinking about children, a small part of him that would be with me always, even when he couldn't be.


But at the moment I don't think he'd want to be with me anyway, given that a few minutes ago he branded me a hypocrite over a comment I made without thinking:
"It would be a sad day when I'd have to join xbox live just to get you to talk to me."
I apparantly hung up on him to meet someone for an hour, so I'm a hypocrite. Apparantly in my current mood I can't make jokes anymore, but I exited facebook and put my laptop on standby but he hasn't phoned or texted so I'm assuming he's really mad this time. The minute I saw him getting angry I, of course, started to cry, and when he called me a hypocrite I had to crawl under my duvet and sob until I looked like even more of a mess than I already did.


I think this is what many would call a 'Rocky patch', I'm not sure how I'm supposed to pretend to be someone who likes to go out and get drunk (I'm still holding on to my being drunk virginity) and be able to stay in and answer his texts when I get them. Because believe me, I'd rather stay at home just to wait for a text from him than go out with a bunch of people I don't really know and not get back till the early hours of the morning. I mean sure, that's fun once in a while, but it's not really me.


Damn my mum for making me grow up before my time.


So now I get to wallow in self pity, wishing for the next 11 days to go past and I can actually do something. 


But, I'd rather go to his on thursday and never come back, just stay locked in his room, rejecting the world and just being together. Because above all, I just miss him.

Today I...

got homesick for the first time.


Not for home


But for Joe, my real home :(

Cos I'm leaavin' on a jet plaane!

Is moving out tomorrow


Eeek!


All I know is that I'm going to miss my buff oh so so so much :(








And that I still need to pack =/

I wish he would grow a beard...

I wish he would grow a beard, because I'm strangely attracted to male facial hair.

I get really excited when his face starts getting furrier and furrier and then one day; poof! Fur GONE :( Despite the number of times I tell him to leave it.

*sigh*

and no, I don't mean creepy pedophile beards either comme ca:

No, I mean sexy sexy beards like this:

And by the way; Gerard Butler <3 

I'm not sure why I've done a post about beards, but my blog posts have been kinda heavy lately =/

Beard out! :P

I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am. Do I always like myself? Well, no. Most of the time I can't stand who I am, but there's not a lot I can do about that now is there?
I'm bitchy, sarcastic, cynical, pessimistic, judgmental, prejudiced, sizeist, needy, clingy, lazy, a worrier, an overthinker and I feel entirely too deeply.


I may not be the best friend you'll ever have, I may have trouble voicing my feelings, of which I have so many. But I've just got to try harder with the people I know, not lose touch, go out more! Go get that life I've been promising myself, try not to look back and regret the time I've spent in my room, waiting for that text to come, the phone will never ring whilst you're staring at it.


Laugh too much make a fool of myself stay happily in love stop thinking too much go with the flow! Life is for living so why don't I just do it? Be more demanding don't let him get away with anything :P 
The only thing I'm good at is falling in love, and staying that way. And somehow keeping them around and making them want to keep me forever. Even if it hasn't quite lasted that long, they had at least thought about it. 


So don't like me if you want, I'm not going to dwell on that, overfeeling as I am, I'll most likely just laugh about it.
If we didn't laugh we'd only cry.

P.s. this text is rocking XD Man colours are great!